(shopping with my mom and grandma)
This week we talked about the dynamics of families and how everyone's family is different, in their trends, rules, and interactions. One theory that describes these phenomenons, and that is my favorite one, would be the family systems theory. This theory explains that everyone in the family plays a part and has an important role in the dynamics. Everyone grows up and changes and figures out who they want to be in the world, but it is curious to note that no matter how grown up we get there will always be a kids table. We all have weird rules and boundaries that we know only work within our own families. For instance, in my house the oldest person gets to ride shotgun and the youngest smallest person usually sits in the middle in the back. When i am with my roommates i do not automatically assume that i get shotgun even though i am the oldest, it is fair game for everyone. It's fun to look for our families quirks and personalities, we can either choose to keep them and pass them onto our future children or we have the power to end unwanted trends. Going along with breaking or keeping traditions, we also learned about family genograms that map our family's and what they've been through. It is good to look at the past, even if we don't want to, sometimes it isn't pretty. We need to know about our past patterns to be able to change them or to realize why we may want to keep them.
i love this post. I am definately the product of this. I am a middle child and I believe my job was always to go along with whatever, however I think that made me a pleaser, and as an adult it is something I am constantly working on, so I do the right thing not just what everyone wants me to. However, I also am grateful for the middle child position, because, I always saw the glass half full. i was always happy with whatever. It didnt matter how old I became, I was always, apart of the 3 little ones. I think with my own children, I can definately see how they each have their family role down. I know I love so many things from my childhood, and have tried to keep those same traditions, with my family. There are also things that I dealt with growing up, that I have tried really hard and continue to not have in my family dynamic. I am so happy, I finally feel like I am at a stage where I know who I want to be and what is right for me, but i can appreciate and love the extended family dynamics around me. I used to be threatened by it, and let it define me both good and bad.
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