2nd Peter Chapter 2

2 Peter 2. Teaching:

Characteristics of false teachers:

-deny the Lord

-speak evil of dignities

-speak evil of things they don’t understand

-beguile unstable souls

-speak words of vanity

-allure lusts of the flesh

Dangers of returning to the “pollutions of the world”: (old ways or habits)

-The Lord is so merciful and knowledge is a great power and gift to him. If someone does not have a testimony or knowledge of something the Lord will not hold them accountable for it. When someone has been blessed with knowledge and God knows that they truly understand it and they still go against what they know is right, that is when they are in trouble. It would be better that they never knew the truth than to know and go back to their evil ways.

HEBREWS 13

A SUMMARY OF HEBREWS 13 AND WHAT I LEARNED FROM IT. :)

·     -   We need to “entertain” strangers because we never know what someone is going through and Christ would love everyone.We need to remember those who are in bonds and treat them how we would want to be treated if we were in the same position.

·      --  Marriage is honorable as long as it is sacred and not defiled.

·       - Our conversations and thoughts should not be covetous, we need to be content with what we have, because the Lord will never forget or forsake us.

·        -God is the same yesterday, to day, and forever, which means that is justice and rules and covenants will never change and he will treat everyone the same.

·      -  We are sanctified through Jesus Christ’s sacrifice for us.

·    -    We need to obey those that rule over us and we need to be positive about it, because they have taken upon them our lives so it is on their hands what happens to us.

·     -   Pray for everyone, the rulers and the Prophets and all people.

The Word of God is There for Every Life Situation!

Choice 1 Phil 1-4

-arguing over petty matters in church: 

We need to look to others with the mindset that we have a lot to learn from them, which we do. Just strive to be humble and to handle matters with the other person in mind. We need to have a good attitude and not murmur or argue with others or about others. (phil 2:1-8, 14-15)

-relying on parents, or others, testimonies: 

We need to learn to do things on our own because there is going to come a time when we are going to have to ask ourselves why we do these things and our parents won’t be there with the answer. Blind obedience is never good; we need to obey without murmuring and that means knowing and believing why we are obeying. (phil 2:12-15)

-converting and losing your family: 

We need to look to the future, look to Christ, it will hurt now but life on this earth is so short and God will be with us if we choose him. Christ can help us through anything, he is also our family. (Phil 3:7-16, 4:13)

- 2 Nephi 32:3 

this assignment proves that in any situation the words of Christ can tell you what to do, and help you find direction in your life in the right way.

Romans 1 The Gospel of Christ is the Power of God unto Salvation

This is what i studied this week in my online religion class in the New Testament!

1.       Christ is both the Son of God and the son of David he was born through God through the seed of David. Being born through both he reigns in the Heavens and on Earth meaning that he can rule and reign anywhere at all times in heaven and Earth. It was essential for Christ to be both mortal and immortal because he needed to be able to choose to give his life for the sins of the world. If he was completely mortal someone could have killed him at any time, there needed to be a conscious and willing sacrifice.

2.       It seems that Paul is very black and white concerning the gospel. He doesn’t have any room for excuses regarding unrighteousness, he is proud to stand up for his Lord.

-I think that just by living the gospel standards in today’s world and not being ashamed to do so even though it’s not “cool” or not what everyone around you may be doing. A good example can never be underestimated. Also to know why we live this way and to not say my church makes me but to stand up and be confident in the gospel.

3.       Peoples sins (there are many more listed in Romans 1:21-32)

a.       Ungratefulness

b.      Vain

c.       Corrupted the image of God

d.      Unchaste

e.      Unclean

f.        Lies

g.       False idols

h.      Unnatural

i.         Fornication

j.        Covetousness

k.       Murder

l.         Pride

m.    All possible bad things

All these sins are a problem today, they commit them because it brings worldly pleasures, and they are too lazy to change and take the better path.

-to serve the creature more than the creator means to worship false idols and to have things of the world that mean more to us than God does who created us and therefore created all things on the Earth.

1 Cor 12-14; GIFTS OF THE SPIRIT

I talked with a friend about the gifts of the spirit and how we all have different gifts. We talked about how it is so amazing that we can all be so different and use our gifts to help others and that we all need each other and our many talents. No gift is greater than another (except charity) and we can all strive to get more gifts as long as we are keeping the commandments and serving others the Lord will bless us.

-1 Cor 12:13-22 has a great analogy to make people feel needed in the church in any calling. It talks about how without an eye or a finger or a foot the body is not whole, every part of the body is in need of the other. As a church we need everyone to be whole like the Lord would want us to be. D&C just restates the same thing, so it is true and very important for us to grasp.

-Paul says he has nothing without the gift of charity

-charity is:

>long suffering

>kind

>rejoices in truth

>beareth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things

>never faileth

-charity is not:

>having all the other gifts

>giving just to give

>envious

>prideful

>selfish

>provoked

>evil

-I need to work on not being provoked and prideful I should also work on being more kind for the sake of others not for selfish gain.

-in 1 Cor 14 it talks about the gift of tongues and how it is a special gift that only happens in certain situations that need it. Not everyone receives this gift and not everyone needs it. Some people think that the gift of tongues goes on at the MTC but that is just the gift of learning and understanding. The gift of tongues is when someone can “randomly” understand or speak a language they do not know or have not learned at all.

Learning in the Scriptures!

Acts 10: 18-35 Peter's vision and the Holy Ghost

When Peter clearly understood the vision he had about helping someone and coming to their aid when the spirit told them to he said “Of a truth I perceive that God is no Respector of persons.” When they say that God is no respector of persons it means that no one is better than anyone else, God treats each of his children equally and loves them all the same. The Holy Ghost helped the Jewish saints at that time learn that everyone is able to receive the Lord’s blessings by sending them one of his main prophets so they could see that the Lord has time for them as well.

Parenting

(roommates: all a product of parenting)

There are three main styles of parenting; Authoritarian, Permissive, and Authoritative.

Authoritarian:

-This parenting style is all based on what the parent wants, the parents want perfect obedience from their children and are willing to go to extreme lengths to get it.

-The children obey out of fear more than anything

-The parents love their children but there is little if any two way communication

-The children DO NOT fail because their parents will not allow it, parents may step in and do things for their children if it looks like failure is a possible outcome

-Children from these homes either rebel as soon as they leave the house or they fail at life because they simply have learned no skills of life survival

Permissive:

-This parenting style is almost the opposite of the first, except for the fact that it is also self serving towards the parents

-The parents love their children but they want their friendship and set no boundaries or limits for them

-Children in this situation try everything and anything to get boundaries set, they will go to endless efforts, so they seem out of control

-There is a lot of communication and warmth, kids learn about life through personal experiences

Authoritative: (Democratic)
-This is the ideal style of parenting
-There is a lot of love and warmth, a lot of communication, and a lot of rules and boundaries for the children
-Parents do things to benefit their kids and they involve them in decisions
-Children have responsibilities and are a contributor to the family
-They are prepared and confident to go out into the world

Most parents are a combination of parenting styles, the most beneficial is obviously the Authoritative one, but it can also be the most difficult to keep up. Parents need to be consciously involved in their parenting in order to maintain a solid style.

Children need attention and they know how to get it.
-parents need to acknowledge good behaviors rather than always punishing bad behaviors
--the behavior that gets noticed will be the one they tend to keep
It is the parents responsibility to prepare their children for the world
-parents teach their children how to think and act in different situations
--at home is where they should learn Courage, Responsibility, Respect, and Cooperation
RESPECT IS A TWO WAY ROAD
-a child will not give respect to a parent if the parent does not respect the child-simply because they have not been taught how to give respect.

Work in the Family

(family dinner)

Work has changed over the years and with it, it has changed the family dynamics as well. The work that used to be done is farming which was usually a family affair. Everyone would know what the other did at work and if they had a hard time or a good day and everyone was more willing to help each other out. 

Now a days the father leaves everyday and the children go to school to learn and to play and the mother can also go to work if that is what they choose. The kids now have a new role of being a child, this changes the boundaries and now children are consumers instead of contributors. 

In my opinion Fathers need to be more involved with their families. There are studies proving that kids have better cognitive development when they have had early and often interactions with their dads. Also i think that women should stay home and raise their children and be available for them as a resource to learn and grow. Some people say being a stay at home mom puts an end to intellectual endeavors, i say that getting a job actually does this. When you have a job that is what you learn and what you know. At home a mother can learn many things from scholarly journals, talk radio, informational tv shows and through the many questions their children will have.

Also i think it is very important that kids have a balanced life. Yes it has been proven that kids need to play to grow but they also need to be taught responsibility and they need to contribute within the home. This helps with learning about the world and often times it helps build confidence and children actually take pride in helping the family.

Communication and Mutual Problem Solving

(Rexburg Temple)

Ephesians 4:

26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:

>>>>> it is pretty much impossible to be angry and not sin, whether in thought or action, anger is of the devil. Anger is a secondary emotion that stems from other natural emotions like frustration, we need to control our emotions and figure them out before we are tempted to anger.

27 Neither give place to the devil.

29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

>>>> Our words need to lift others up, we need to be an example and a teacher through what we say. We need to give grace to others, grace is something that we get even though we don't deserve it. We aren't in charge of labeling what others deserve but if we feel like they don't deserve something we need to administer grace and both parties will learn and grow and benefit.

31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

>>> Who are we to not forgive someone when God forgives all.

THE COUNSEL METHOD

The first presidency and quorum of the twelve have a weekly meeting to make important church decisions in the temple. Their counsel method is amazing and everyone would benefit from it if they instilled in within their own families.

>First they all know the agenda so that everyone can pray about it the night before and be prepared to share their thoughts

>They meet once a week, this is important because it sets up a pattern and makes it easier for everyone to be comfortable in the process.

>Next they meet a little early and express their love an appreciation for one another, this would be such a blessing in a family if everyone knew how much they meant to one another.

>They open the meeting with a prayer. This invites God and the spirit so that there will be no alterior motives or strife and so that they can receive inspiration and know what God's will is on the matter.

>They go around the room in order and EVERYONE in the room gets time to say their piece on the subject and what they think God's will would be. This is so important because everyone feels equal and the other family members get to understand everyone a little more deeply. You never know who is more ready to receive a certain type of inspiration and who might be able to explain it.

>Next they all reach a CONSENSUS. This is important that everyone agrees on God's will because then no one feels like they are being forced to do something. This would make decisions as a family so much stronger and the children would be more willing to join if they are a part of the process.

>Then they end with a prayer, expressing gratitude to the Lord for helping them come to a decision. This is very important because not only is it necessary to give thanks to God but it also helps us recognize how the Lord might reveal revelation to us.

>After the prayer they all share a treat/refreshment together. This puts a "good taste" in their mouths about the meeting and there is just something about sharing food that unifys people.

This method is such a good thing to instill in our families! Every part of the Counsel Method is inspired and beneficial. I am going to do this someday with my family.

The Family Under Stress

(siblings)

Everyone reacts to stress differently just like everyone reacts to dangerous situations differently. Some people run some people fight and some people freeze. Having this knowledge of different reactions can help us to understand our loved ones actions and feelings in hard times. 

It is important for families to come out of crisis stronger than they were before and not more distant and weak as a family unit. There is a formula for family crisis that explains why some families may not make it as easily as others. 

A-actual event + B-both resources and how they are used + C-cognition (thought process/attitude) 

= X the experience

I really love this formula because it shows that even though we may not have control of the event or what resources we have, we do have control over how we use our resources and how we think of our situations. This means that there is never a reason for failure, if we fail it is because we didn't try hard enough as a family.

The word crisis in Chinese characters is made up of danger and opportunity. This is so true and so cool to think about, we have the power to make our lives and families happy and loving no matter what we are going through.

It is important to be close with our families through the easy times so that through any challenges we have it will only bring us closer together.

Sexual Intimacy and Family Life

(Cinco De Mayo party-marriage before friends)

Sexual intimacy in marriage is super important and it is also seemingly a no brainer, this is where people can get hurt and confused. Men and Women are so different in many aspects of life, and it is the same with this aspect of life and marriage as well. I'm not going to go into the details of sexual intimacy in marriage but i will say that many people think that it is something magical that both parties should just get instantly, and if they don't then maybe they weren't meant to be. This is obviously false, we have learned and practiced in every other area of our life and this should be no different. 

One thing that can cause hurt in this aspect of a marriage is selfishness. Selfishness is never good, but in sexual intimacy it just doesn't make sense. There is a cycle we discussed in class that shows the differences in men and women and shows how both must be completely unselfish and their needs will be automatically met as well. For a man to feel safe, close, and connected (loved) he needs physical or sexual intimacy, on the flip side for a woman to want to be physically or sexually intimate she needs to feel safe, close, and connected. This can be the greatest cycle of everyone's needs being met or a couple's greatest down fall, if one or both are not will to take a leap of faith and be unselfish for their partner. 

We also talked about "Affair Proofing Your Marriage." First couples need to "leave and cleave", it is time for the children to leave their parents and become adults with a separate new family of their own. It is vital to set boundaries with friends and family and to discuss these boundaries with your spouse. Here are a few things we came up with in class to help prevent unfaithfulness:

-No discussion of marital problems or annoyances with anyone other than your spouse 

-Limit the time spent with friends and family, it should be a bonus not a constant

-Anything to do with the opposite gender happens together, Never find yourself alone no matter what

-friendships need to change dynamics or they need to end, no blurred boundaries

-regulate facebook/internet/texting, its a good idea to combine facebooks if having one is important

-Don't talk with friends about other attractive people even casually

-Don't get cocky "that won't happen to us" no one is "above" that unless they are consciously trying

Children need to be taught in their homes about their bodies and about sexual intimacy and how it is sacred and not bad, but it has its own time and place. We want our kids to be able to talk to us, ask us any question, this needs to start at the very beginning. Is a child going to want to talk to a parent if they make light of their questions or if they find out they were fabricating the truth? No. I'm not saying lay every graphic detail out on the line for them, but there are certain ages where they can handle more and more about these subjects and if they don't find out at home they will find out else where, and it will not be portrayed as sacred if that is the case. Also children aren't going to ask questions about things that have never been talked about or brought up previously. These subjects are never easy but if we practice and bring them into our homes our children will be better prepared to know why they are made differently from each other and what their divine purposes are.

There are helps to know good timelines of discussions with children that can be found at places like LDS.org

Transitions in Marriage

(Easter Dinner)

New couples have some "critical tasks" that they need to accomplish to help the foundation of their relationship strengthen and have something to build upon. The task that i think is the most important is for them to "draw a clear boundary" around themselves as a new unit and couple. This means that parents and friends and others that used to be important parts of their lives are now secondary to their spouse and to the relationship. Along with that comes open communication. No longer should the couple run to their parents when there is a problem, this will just cause bigger problems of trust and contentment in the future between spouses and in-laws. The husband needs to confide in the wife, the wife needs to talk about problems with the husband and vice verse. This process should start as soon as possible but it most definitely needs to be in place while planning the wedding. After all, the mother is not marrying her daughter, their relationship is most likely already solidified. 

We have discussed in class that it is normal for couples to report less satisfaction in their relationship as time goes by, especially as children are born. But "What is natural is not inevitable." I think that if we know why this happens and that it is normal it will be easier to change that norm and to work on having stronger relationships. When a child is born the mother naturally tends to the child's needs and wants and tries to do everything she can that is "best" for the child. At this point the Father wants to be involved too and may try to  but the Mother tries to "teach" to much instead of welcoming the help. This teaching is perceived as criticism and the Father may feel that he is being pushed away or ignored so he then pulls back and focuses his attention else where, usually at work. Then the wife feels that her husband doesn't care and so the cycle continues unless it is consciously changed or avoided.
It is important for the Father to be engaged in the family and it is maybe more important for the wife to engage her husband in all the pre-natal and post-natal care. The marriage should always come first and if it is taken care of, the child will be cared for as a consequence of a strong marriage relationship. Women need to trust and compliment. A man somehow survived life before he was married, so it would seem that men don't need to be "taught" every second. Sure a woman may have that nurturing instinct but men are known to have a protective instinct. Both are important and both need to be used in raising a child. Sometimes men have ideas that a women would never think of, that just might be more effective for that child, after all it is made from both the parents.

Preparing for Marriage

(Biking date)

This last week we covered dating and the different things that go along with that. One thing we discussed was the reasons people “pick” the people they date. A couple reasons we came up with were proximity and shared experiences. You aren’t going to be with someone if they aren’t around you and you have no way of meeting them, plus close proximity is just easy to get to know one another, long distance relationships are stressful and hard. You want someone with shared experiences or things in common with you so that you can relate. Not only is it easier to find things to talk about and get excited over but you can see where a person is coming from when you can understand their personal biases. The more things people have in common the easier it is going to be.

We also talked about the quality of dating taking place and what gives a marriage a better chance of survival. Obviously there are always exceptions to every rule but there are things that people can do to help their future marriages be successful. First it is important to not just “slip” into marriage from dating, there needs to be clear boundaries and direct steps that are understood by both parties involved in the relationship. We start out with dating, a variety of activities with a variety of people, so that we can know what qualities we like in others and what qualities we want to change or enhance within ourselves. Then we make a conscious mutual decision to go into courtship, this is the trial period and persuasion as well. Next we make the step into the engagement and see if we can actually be married to this person forever. Finally we make the biggest decision and get married, but it isn’t scary because we had a thoughtful dating process and we know it is best for both people involved.

The most common question that was brought up in class pertained to timing and how long to date someone before it was ok to get married. There is no set answer for this question, there are guidelines and suggested time frames though. It is suggested that dating someone for one to two years is a great way to set yourself up for a successful, long-lasting marriage. This doesn’t mean that oh we have dated for a year we must be ready to commit to each other for the rest of our lives. Within that year or so of dating it has to be more quality than quantity, what matters more than time itself is what you do with that time. We need to be dating with a purpose and with questions that are getting answered. For example if I want to know if someone will be a good parent I would want to plan a date or a night for us to baby sit together. My professor said that “The best indicator of future behavior is current behavior.” We need to see the other person in many situations before we can begin to know them. We need to know them more than we trust them, trust them more than we rely on them, rely on them more than we are committed to them, and be committed more than we are “touching” them. Using those rules we are less likely to get confused by our emotions. You can’t chose to marry someone based on how you feel when you’re with them, most likely you’ll feel good around them but feelings change every day.

I’m still learning so I’m not an expert but I really do believe that intentionally getting to know someone before diving into long term relationships can save people from a lot of heart ache. 

Gender and Family Life

(FHE family pictures)

I love the topic of gender and the differences between us. In class we came up with a list of behavioral tendencies for males and females. We decided that the females are more likely to be emotionally aware, more able and willing to express and receive communication, and be more relationship oriented in thoughts and actions. For the males we said they were more commonly aggressive, they had spacial thinking (sports/directions), and they are more task oriented. These differences are stereotypes in that not ALL men are like this and not ALL women are that way but for the most  part it is a pretty universal truth. Once we are able to see and accept these differences between genders we will be able to help one another grow so much more in our abilities. I know for me when i learned about how males think i was less offended when they thought differently or saw things another way or maybe they weren't giving me attention when they were focused on a task (women can usually multi-task way better than men). 

We also touched on homosexuality in class, which is such a hard topic to have any opinions on. I have my thoughts about it as do others but i want to be careful what i say and i don't want to cause offense to anyone. One thing i will say without going into details is i don't believe people are born "gay" and i do not believe people are born "straight" either. I am not an expert but i do think that along with everything else in life, homosexuality is a mixture of nature and nurture. 

One thing i have learned that i want to teach my children some day is that everyone is different and it is not up to us to let them know their differences. It is our job as humans to love everyone and to let them grow and change or stay the same as they see fit. You never know how much effect you have on someone else. When i was growing up i was always told i do not have a good singing voice, i still sang because i loved it, but still to this day i am self conscious about it and do not think i have a great singing voice. This example can fit so many situations in life, we need to be very careful what we point out in others because that just might be the characteristic they choose that defines them.

My favorite modern day revelation is "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" everything i need to know about raising a family is found in that document. LOVE THIS:

THE FAMILY

---

A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD

The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of theChurch of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

WE, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

IN THE PREMORTAL REALM, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

THE FIRST COMMANDMENT that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

WE DECLARE the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

WE WARN that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.

Social Class and Cultural Diversity

(cousins at a family dinner!)

I am so lucky to have so much diversity within my own family! We differ in so many ways, including; personality, traditions, social classes, education, race, age, problems, and so much more. All these differences is what makes my family so awesome and fun to be around! 

One thing we talked about in class that i want to focus on is class vs culture and how they influence family. Class can be defined as many things like social class, appearance, profession, and manners/ mannerisms.  Culture is made up of things like values/ beliefs, religion, tradition, and perceptions. All of these factors can definitely influence the family whether for good or for bad. One way it can influence family is in who we marry and how well we can bring the two different class and cultures together. A question was brought up in class, "can people marry different social classes?" The more things you have in common with your future spouse the easier and more successful the marriage is most likely to be. The thought was mentioned that a woman can marry a man in a higher social class but a man should not marry up, because it was imagined that the woman would never be satisfied and the man would never feel adequate. This is a very likely possibility, but hopefully people aren't that shallow. 

I am not really sure what social class i grew up in, probably middle to lower middle class and i wouldn't trade it for anything. As a child i never felt like i didn't have anything i needed (obviously i wanted more like all kids do) and i was able to learn the value of hard work. When i'm older and settled down, I, like most people, want to be well off so i don't have to worry about my needs. With that being said I do not want to have extravagant things and i do not want my children to know if we are wealthy. I want them to learn hard work and to not judge others based on social class and material possessions. No class or culture is better than another, we all need to be willing to step outside our comfort zones and bring others into our lives. We can all benefit from learning from one another.   

Family Theories and Dynamics

(shopping with my mom and grandma)

 This week we talked about the dynamics of families and how everyone's family is different, in their trends, rules, and interactions. One theory that describes these phenomenons, and that is my favorite one, would be the family systems theory. This theory explains that everyone in the family plays a part and has an important role in the dynamics. Everyone grows up and changes and figures out who they want to be in the world, but it is curious to note that no matter how grown up we get there will always be a kids table. We all have weird rules and boundaries that we know only work within our own families. For instance, in my house the oldest person gets to ride shotgun and the youngest smallest person usually sits in the middle in the back. When i am with my roommates i do not automatically assume that i get shotgun even though i am the oldest, it is fair game for everyone. It's fun to look for our families quirks and personalities, we can either choose to keep them and pass them onto our future children or we have the power to end unwanted trends. Going along with breaking or keeping traditions, we also learned about family genograms that map our family's and what they've been through. It is good to look at the past, even if we don't want to, sometimes it isn't pretty. We need to know about our past patterns to be able to change them or to realize why we may want to keep them.

Societal Trends and the Family

(The biggest, cutest 8 month old twins i got to watch over the winter break)

 I am a 22 year old unmarried female, almost finished with my bachelors degree in the clinical study of marriage and family. In today's society I would be considered normal, and well on my way to personal success. If I was to travel back in time, not even one hundred years, this would be almost unheard of. People tend to get caught up in the normalcy of today's everyday life and forget to look at how much of what is considered "normal" has changed. One trend that i find interesting is that the age that the average person gets married has gone up. Not even looking at statistics we can see this evidence within our own families, at least within mine i am able to see it. Both of my Grandparents were married around the age of 18 or 19, my mother got married when she was barely 21, I am turning 23 in a few months and i'm not even engaged. The average person now gets married around the ages of 26 for a female and 28 for a male. As an LDS culture we like to imagine that society doesn't affect us, but the average age has gone up for Mormons as well, 24 being the average age for females and 26 for males. At first glance, i like most people would think that this is probably better for society in that kids aren't just getting married willy nilly and divorced when they are too immature to handle the pressures of marriage. But there is more to this phenomenon than first meets the eye. Since the age of marriage has gone up, the birth rates have gone down, which plays a big role in how well the economy is functioning. The correlation of marriage and birth rate is fertility. Everyone knows that after a certain point in a woman's life they, sadly, cannot have children anymore, and at some age people don't want to or can't raise a child for their whole adolescent life. People are getting married older and wiser, therefore they cannot have as many kids as previous generations. Some opinions might be that this is better for life and for the economy, less people less problems. There is evidence suggesting that with less people on this earth the economy will suffer. There will be less workers, less inventors, less doctors, less teachers, and so much more. Many couples today are not having kids and are not replacing themselves in the world's human capital. I loved growing up with siblings, they taught me so much about myself and about my world. I feel sad for those who don't get the same experience. Children are a blessing from God, if they weren't important for the world we wouldn't have that sacred ability to create them.

Families are Forever :)

 I love my family and the many adventures we go on together! I am starting this blog about Family relations for a class I'm taking at BYU-I, but i think it will be very fun and beneficial in my every day life as i learn more about what i want my future family to be set up like. I am excited to share my findings each week as i gain new knowledge and inspirations on the subjects discussed in class! I hope others enjoy this new adventure as well! :)